Tuesday September 28, 2004

Kinda settled into my new place now. Won’t invite you guys over yet coz it’s still in a mess, will do in due time. Anyways, today’s post is inspired by marboy’s comments on Isa’s post. I’ve read somewhere about this ‘quater-life crisis’ thing and thought it actually explains us, soon-to-be-new-graduates, quite accurately. So I went in search of that article and guess what…I found it!

The Quarter-Life Crisis
by unknown

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn’t know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren’t exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.

You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren’t so great after all.

You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can’t meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.

One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.

You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you’d just like to be a contender!

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.


Being the inquisitive ‘pseudo-psychologist’ that I am.. hehehe…i researched somemore to see if there is a way out of this crisis….i mean…there has to be a simple-enough solution out of most things…and guess what…i found it without breaking a sweat! hehehe..and they’re pretty good advices too!

This is taken from an article called Conquering the Quarter Life Crisis taken from this magazine called Young Money. Here are some of the ways to keep your head-up during these ‘troubled’ times…

Keep it real: Yes, the 20s may be an exciting time of your life. But they can also be extremely frustrating. Wilner suggests setting “realistic expectations.” Be aware that there will be challenges. For instance, no matter how much your ego is pampered by high grades and flattering remarks from professors, no matter how “big” you are in school now, you might (and chances are you will) have to start out small and humble in the real world. “The reality of it is that most people are gonna make certain kinds of compromises as they go through their 20s,” says Arnett. “They might have to accept less than the ideal. Most of the jobs available to people aren’t wonderful jobs. They’re a way to make a living.”

Goals vs. Deadlines:It’s always good to have goals because those will give you purpose. But Alexandra Robbins, co-author of “Quarterlife Crisis,” explains that goals can be a disadvantage if they are confused with deadlines. “Don’t put pressure on yourself to reach these goals before you’re out of your twenties,” she warns. Her follow-up book “Conquering the Quarterlife Crisis” is due for release late this year. It includes advice from twentysomethings who went through the crisis and survived.

Keep calm: However, even if you don’t have a clear idea of what to do with your life before getting a taste of what’s out there, there’s no need to push the panic button and run to the nearest coffee shop to overdose on caffeine. Today’s society puts a lot of pressure on twentysomethings to achieve something at a younger age. Don’t let that bother you. There seems to be a mad rush to succeed. Remember that there is no race to be won, only mistakes to be suffered from hasty decisions.

Know yourself: Finally, take advantage of your time in college. After you graduate, you will realize that this is a luxury you will not always have in the real world. Learn as much about yourself as you can. Different experiences will help you discover things as simple as your likes and dislikes, and as profound as what you want out of life. Life is a huge roller coaster full of sharp turns, unexpected twists, and sudden drops. Hopefully, after you survive the first 25 years of your life without much damage to your psyche, you will be able to relax and enjoy the ride. Keep in mind that amid the threat of a quarterlife crisis is the hope that the 20s may still be a wonderful time in your life. And the wonderful thing about being young is that you have the power to make your dreams happen!

Happy Mooncake Festival to all !!

5 comments on “Tuesday September 28, 2004

  1. marboy

    life is like a rollercoaster, theres up and down, nonetheless there will be many crossroads ahead of us where we have to make decisions. standing right before a crossroad and making a decision is just an indirect indication of our turning point. it’s not a simple process but whether you like it or not, you still have to encounter such difficulties. well pretty much its all wrapped up in our quarter life crisis, and life is stil a long way ahead of us, so yea…. godspeed 😉


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