Friday September 3, 2004

This was as far as i can remember of what i wrote in the blog that got lost.

You’re Chile!
You’re really skinny, and kind of bumpy in frame, but you’re not as rough a person as you used to be.  You like long, long, long walks on the beach and avoiding having your rights violated, just like anybody else does.  You’re even willing to stand up to those with more power and influence than you, trying to bring them to justice.  Fight the man!
Take the Country Quiz at the Blue Pyramid

I guess i kind of agree with the first statement which says i’m not as rough/tough as i used to be. Firstly because i do not excercise at all anymore…although i’m starting to. Also…i find that before, i wasn’t as emotional as i am now.  When i was younger, i used to laugh at my sister because she cries at every little thing…..but now i’m experiencing it myself and well…i don’t know whether it’s a good or bad thing, but it is quite embarassing at times.

I am becoming a very homely person i feel. I don’t know whether it’s all a part of growing up or is it just because I don’t have too many friends here therefore not a lot of invitations to go out. But to pick between a night out and about, and a quiet night at home, i’d pick the latter.

Also i think i’m becoming a very timid person. I’m afriad of everything. I don’t dare to try new things. To be totally honest, i have this debilitating fear of being sexually assaulted. I know every girl in the world fear any of these sort of things happening to them, but my fear is causing me to not live life to the fullest, i feel.

Especially when i’m back in Malaysia, i fear being alone. Everytime i’m alone, whether i’m at home or outside, everytime someone rings the bell or  a random guy looks at me, i start having a panic attack. I start to palpitate, i find it difficult to breathe, sometimes i break into cold sweat. I mean, I think sometimes i scare myself too much. My mode of self preservation is to prepare for the worst everytime and this include playing over the worst case scenario in my head and it terrifies me!

I don’t think i have the courage to stand up to those in power although i am quite angry at the Malaysian government for not doing all they can about the rising crime rates in Malaysia. I feel quite embarassed sometimes being Malaysian, or should i say KL-ian, because i feel obliged to get people to come visit. But I’ll probably scare them to death with the stories of crimes happening back home. I’ll be afriad for their lives, as i am of my own everytime i step out my home.

Just recently, they’ve been numerous cases of Indonesian gangs robbing people in their houses. Also at a shopping mall in area, my parents told me of a recent robbery shoot out, people being held at gun-point to hand over their cars…and the list goes on. I mean….why aren’t the government doing anything? Send the illegal immigrants home! Find more jobs for people! Stop corruption! Especially in the Police force. They’re the people who are suppose to enforce the law, not break them for money! I do pity them sometimes though. The police officers earn a basic pay of RM800 per month, which is less than AUD400 per month. They have their families to take care of and that pay just doesn’t seem enough to bring up a young family. The problem then goes back to the inefficient government.

Sometimes i do wonder, why do i want to go back? I feel a lot safer here. I feel more independant. But i mean, come to think of it, these things happen everywhere around the world. I’m just sensitive to those happening in Malaysia because I am from there. Well, I wasn’t born in KL, which might explain why i do not feel like i have a bond with that place. I grew up in a small town, Kuching, where everyone knew everyone, people were warm, everything was good. All the sudden, I’m forced to move to this big, bad city where people didn’t care if you screamed for help and where everyone came to look for a living, the right way or the other. It also didn’t help that my dad was worried about me and told me to always be on my toes when i go out and warned me about all the things that KL people can do to me when i first got there. Also, i should probably just stop reading the newspapers… ignorance is bliss sometimes.

But, KL is now where my family and loved ones are. My parents are making a better living now than they’ll every make in Kuching. I won’t even have a chance to come here if my parents hadn’t made the decision to move to KL. It is a great city minus the crimes. Shopping is great, Food is yum….The night life there is crazy….so is the traffic! hehehe….So…do come visit, just be extra careful. Malaysia….Truly Asia! 

7 comments on “Friday September 3, 2004

  1. ssiieee

    hey belinda…

    jer sie here, from miri. remember me? 🙂

    got a link through your blog from ing hui’s. fancy finding you here!

    i agree so much with what you say. even with such a small town like miri, things are changing so rapidly with the increase in crime rates and all. i dunno what i’d do if i’m made to move to kl.

    where are you now btw?

  2. StonedEwok


    that’s where my dad grew up…what are the odds…

    this xanga world is truly small after all…

    GO MALAYSIA, truly asia…hahaha

    good post bel! 10/10 for remembering that much! 😛


  3. Elizabeth_Ho

    Hey there! 🙂

    The part where you mentioned, “I grew up in a small town, Kuching, where everyone knew everyone, people were warm, everything was good.”..I’m a girl who is originated from Kuching too but was forced to move to KL back in 3 years ago. I’d totally agree with your perspective about the people in Kuching. They tend to be more warm and friendly although there are some of them who are naive in thinking. I had a bad experience in KL or known as a hectic place to live in Malaysia where I was snatched by two thieves last year in the month of April. Not only me, my mum also got involved with this undesirable scene. And there was this murder trial of “Canny Ong”, which it was to be considered as one of the tragic cases that happened in Malaysia throughout the decade. I’m so ashamed of the people who lost their senses in life and the meaning of humanitarian. Perhaps Malaysian goverment should reenforce their criminal justice agaisnt these people that are not humane at all.

    Commented by Angelic.

  4. pwho

    Not adding anymore political issue here as there’s enough mentioned.. and some more alot in the papers these few days on Anwar’s release.

    Anyway, very nice debate topic here and I would say.. Kuching is still the greatest! Hip Hip! HOORAY!

    Well, it all depends on where you go and what you do around KL.. hard to say sometimes. Maybe I’m a guy and the victims that fall into those snatching thing or rape thing is always women. (I won’t understand the feel.. )

  5. Canonnie

    Hi there,

    I miss the Kuching Laksa so much!!! Can’t wait to grab the chance to go back again to makan the Laksa again… Hehe… Dun worry, I am not here to stir a crime… I just love the “article” you posted about how you feel about Malaysia, and the way you differentiate the East and West of it… Come to think of it, I think East Malaysia is starting to “Westernise” already, if you know what I mean… Hehehe… Crime rate is always higher in bigger cities, girl… Face the fact! Until the next time I post, take care!



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